“You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give.” – Winston Churchill
At the beginning of my morning shift at MultiCare Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital, I’m greeted by the ward secretary.
“Morning, Dr. G.”
After perusing the daily census sheet and selecting my first stop for the day, I knock.
The parent invites me in and whispers, “Not a good night.”
AJ* has lost his appetite, and his hair, from chemotherapy. An IV provides hydration.
For 40 years on rounds, I carried a stethoscope. Now retired and wearing a volunteer badge, I carry a guitar. After introducing myself to the family, I sit and check my tuning.
I often reflect on the path that led me to this moment. I was lucky that I grew up in a musical family, and the public schools I attended fortunately provided strong music programs. My mom played viola, then guitar, and had professionally performed singing folk songs in many languages. My first guitar teacher, she inspired me to pick it up.
Many years later, after she and my dad had joined our extended family in Tacoma, she eventually needed the safety of a memory unit. In its outdoor garden I would play guitar and sing to her — some of her songs, some of mine. It appeared to give her great comfort.
As I go from room to room with guitar in hand, it’s often not the right time — many of the children are sleeping, in the middle of a procedure or are quite honest with a “Not now.”
When invited in, I try to pick up on what tune might work for the child’s age or mood. I may choose something gentle and start with Nino Rota’s instrumental “Plein Soleil.” If the parents speak Spanish, I’ll sing “Durme, Durme Hermozo Hijico,” a Ladino lullaby my mom often sang to my brother and me.
Occasionally I receive a two-person applause, but the nicest rewards are at once unexpected and uplifting: The infant who finally settles down for her mom as I play The Beatles lullaby “Goodnight;” the 3-year-old who walks close and gently strokes my guitar; or a giggle that suddenly erupts from a 6-year-old with my rendition of “Chicken Lips.”
Even though it’s obvious that I’m from another generation, these young patients and their parents do seem to enjoy old classics, such as “Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out” and “Young at Heart.”
Sometimes older kids will have their own musical instruments in the room, and we trade songs back and forth. Other times, after I sing a song or two, the parent may bring up their child’s care. Diagnoses being made. Treatments on the horizon. I don’t see the medical records anymore, but it’s not unusual, after the music stops, for the parent to start talking. And I listen.
In December 2024, the script flipped when our family suddenly received our own medical gut punch: Our 36-year-old son, having had several months of back pain and worsening mobility, was seen at MultiCare Tacoma General Hospital’s emergency department. A CT revealed a large spinal tumor, and he was transported that evening by ambulance for emergency surgery. The diagnosis: multiple myeloma. After his initial six months of treatment, he proceeded with a stem cell transplant and must now gradually repeat all his newborn and childhood immunizations. But this can’t begin until later this year — a daunting prospect in light of recent measles outbreaks.
During our son’s ongoing medical battle, I have valued, more than ever, the comfort it gives me to play and sing for the kids. This retirement, seven-year music gig at Mary Bridge Children’s has been facilitated and made so fulfilling by the dedicated volunteers and staff at MultiCare — most notably by Julie Hubbard, manager of volunteer services, and Lou Ann League, Child Life coordinator.
I have no doubt they would agree with Mahatma Gandhi: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
So back in the hospital room, I finish tuning my guitar and begin. Barely into the first verse of Toy Story’s “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” AJ looks up at his parent … and smiles.
Martin Goldsmith, MD, is a retired MultiCare pediatrician who gives back twice a month as a Mary Bridge Children’s volunteer. His love of music and entertaining is a joy for all — patients, their families and staff alike.
* Name changed to protect privacy.
